Like dude...huh huh...what happened! Ok so I guess I was a little off on thinking the Chargers were not for real...they looked preeeeeeeetttyyy good last Sunday...3-2 not bad but not great for us and we're needing a big win this Sunday against the Chiefs...I'm going to do my part this week by risking my life yet again for your entertainment...actually you'll only be entertained if you are in the stands this week because once again our home game is blacked out...I talked to Wayne (Mr.. Weaver to you) about me buying up the rest of the tickets this week so that all of you who can't make it to the stadium can still see the game...then he told me how much it would cost to buy 9000 tickets....sorry folks you'll have to buy a ticket yourself.
If you do have a ticket you'll see me perform a killer zip line stunt during pre-game and halftime....my good buddies at Aerial Concepts are helping me set up this one of a kind stunt....if you've never seen a 403 pound cat fly through the air you are in for a treat....which reminds me Halloween is coming up soon and I don't know what to be....please save the "Cat Burglar" or "Cat Woman" ideas...I'm a cat all year long...that's why last year I wore a Hot Dog costume during the game but people thought it was a taco....it was late in the game so I blame it on the fans vision being impaired by beer.
Oh yeah speaking of beer....don't drink if you are under 21 and don't drink and drive...ok the lawyers are happy....but seriously I have a bone to pick....last week I saw a game where the home crowd threw a couple beers on the field after the visitors scored....this really bothered me for a couple reasons...one: What a waste of beer...and money...next time just take your wallet out and throw that at the guy...two: beer smells really bad when it get's on your fur or clothes...so if i'm ever on the field and you want to throw your beer at a visiting player near by, let me know first...i'll take the beer from you and dump it on his head....at least if you're wasting good beer you might as well hit the target right?....ok ok ok...i'm getting dirty looks from the lawyers...folks please don't throw anything on the field...you could hurt somebody ...like me...and you'll be tossed out of the game by security..
Speaking of security...did you see the guy who ran onto the field last home game?....what an idiot...i'm so upset i was in the middle of a skit and i didn't see him until they were carrying him off the field in cuffs...he's lucky he didn't get a beat down from the players...ever since those baseball fans attacked that coach, players have taken a new attitude about wall jumpers...they're fair game so you better be ready to take a fore arm shiver if you're dumb enough to jump onto the field...
In case you didn't know it's National Mascot Appreciation month and i have yet to get any presents from any of you...no worries though because it's only half way through the month and you still have time...if you are looking for a gift i'm registered at Wachovia....if you don't have time for that just bring cash to the game and throw it at me...beer no..cash yes...no coins either.
I'm off to fluff my fur at the Spa...it's a rough life for a mascot but somebody has to do it and i'm glad it's me...otherwise someone else would get my pay check...i hope to see you at the game this week if not...uh...i'll talk to you next week i guess...this is a weekly journal...take care and get in your seats early!!!!