3 days after the election and boy am I glad it's over…hopefully now I can get some piece and quiet…all those phone calls from the candidates asking me for advice and the reporters asking if I was going to run for President…I mean really folks….I'm in the middle of a season trying to bring home an AFC South title…priorities people!! … although I wouldn't mind being Secretary of something…maybe Secretary of Food…I'd be good at that…OH I know….have you ever heard of the phrase "First Lady"…ok ok well what I propose is nothing like that…I'll be the "First Jaguar"…huh?…whatta you think?
I know you all are wondering about the big INJURY that's been in the news....well worry no more...i'm fine...the doctors have said that most of the fur will grow back as normal and that i will have no lasting effects from the trama...It's an undisclosed injury so ask no more questions please...that's another way of saying BACK OFF!!!!!...alright fine i'll tell you...geez you people are pushy...i was in Denver this past weekend with my good buddy Miles from the Broncos...we played football against a pop-warner team and it was really cold out and i'm not used to being in the cold...so i wandered over to the bench because i saw some heaters...i know they were heaters because they said "Heaters" on the side...well right when i got there the Broncos Horse "Thunder" was standing near the heater and i was getting really cold....so i tried my "Blazzing Saddles" routine where i punch the horse and make him fall down...let's just say that skit works better when the horse is fake and it has two people inside that will follow the script...this horse is very real and so were it's hooves as they planted me onto the heater...i lost a few inches off my tail...but they had to replace the horse's shoes...so there!!!!
So we lost to the Texans and now we're 5-3...still in first I might remind you…and it's Bye Week…you know what that means folks….it means Jaxson gets some time to relax and re-charge…as I write this journal I'm kicked back in an undisclosed location…I hope I don't end up in another tabloid magazine like the time I got caught on a date with Pamela Anderson at Superbowl…ok so it was TRL she was walking off the stage and I got a picture with her…but in those 2 seconds that she hugged me I could tell she was interested in me…if you don't believe me just go look at the picture of us in my photo album on this site…never mind the fact that she thought I was Chucky Cheese…
Well it's Bye week folks and I have to start my relaxing...I really wish you all were here with me…ok so no I don't…but it sounded real sweet…don't worry though because next week is a home game week and that means that you'll get to see ME!!!…That is of course if you have a ticket to the game and I'm sure you all do…I'm off to the spa for my sea weed wrap…I'm gonna try to drop a couple pounds and get bellow 400...I'm gonna need to be in top shape for the second half of this season.